My home should always be like this
Forever and always a glorious bliss
But my home was filled with anger and fear
Every day I would shed many a tear
What did I ever do wrong
I would cry but try to be strong
I knew how to survive my fate
Not by anger and not by hate
I needed to be able to forgive
Before I could be able to live
It would take years and years
To overcome all of my fears
My husband knows that he did wrong
I tried for 17 years to stay strong
But he committed this wrongful act
Never was there any doubt of this fact
It takes years to heal the soul
Now again I am strong and whole
The anger and hate has disappeared
Nothing more to be ever feared
There is no excuse for being either emotionally
verbally or physically abused by anyone.
It is not acceptable in today's society.
We all have choices in life and to stay in a negative
environment with this sort of thing happening is beyond
comprehension to most people. Unless you have lived in it
you cannot judge.
Every day, every waking moment a child is yelled at
or physically abused.
Can you imagine what that does to that child
for the rest of their lives? It destroys them totally
unless they have therapy.
Nobody should be allowed to say that you are hopeless
and that you drove me to my anger at you.
This emotional and verbal abuse is as bad as the
physical abuse.
It destroys your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-love.
It destroys your soul.
My father would deny that he treated me roughly.
He did every time he came home from the pub.
He often threw me from one side of the room to the
other yelling at me. I grew to believe that I was not
perfect in his eyes and that he hated me.
What else was I to believe when being treated in
this fashion?
As I grew older I feared him so I didn't open my mouth
for fear I would say the wrong thing.
Often when we have come from an abusive background
we don't know any different and it is a known fact
that a woman will choose a husband who is like her
her Dad.
Now thank goodness, I have a loving relationship with
my Dad. I learned to forgive him as I grew older
and wiser and I now tell him I love him.
My ex-husband is an alcoholic. I didn't know it at the time I
married him. He was always the life and soul of the
party and everyone thought he was so entertaining and fun.
He would tell me that I drove him to drink. He would start
drinking claret on a Saturday lunch time and finish when he
went to bed. Every night when he came home from work he
grab a bottle of claret from the cellar under the house.
He would throw me around and yell abuse at me.
Often he kicked, slapped and punched me. Nobody in
my family knew this.
The police said they could never charge him because they had
not caught him in the act. It's time the law was changed!
There were holes in the bathroom door, the entrance hall
wall which was only made of plaster on the inside wall
and brick at the back. The dining room door had a hole
and so did the bedroom door.
He made me do some outlandish acts during intercourse.
There were other things I had to endure that I cannot
say here.
I put up with him for 17 years too long.
I wished I had left him years ago but I never thought
I would be worthy of anyone else's love and that nobody
would take me and my two daughters who were handicapped.
I was very lucky in that I did find a decent man and he
has supported me for 12 years. He helped bath and dress
my eldest who had cerebral palsy. He was a godsend to me.
So there is a life after abuse. Don't leave it until
its too late!
